Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
