I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
