I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Randomize
