remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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