I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
