My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
