This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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