I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
