I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
