17 year olds will be the death of me.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
