my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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