You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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