I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
