I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm sobbing to NWA
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
