So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize