U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Randomize
