Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
