8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
