Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
