I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Princesses don't give blow jobs
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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