all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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