Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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