he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
