she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
So here I am, sexting at work.
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