I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
