I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
