Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
