Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
