Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
