I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
