it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
