Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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