Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
