Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
