I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
