I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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