me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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