So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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