worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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