When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
