Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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