All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
