i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
