Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
