my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
