There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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