i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My penis needs a shock collar
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
