she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize