I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
