I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
