she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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