So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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