you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I think your dad took our porno
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
