wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
