its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
