So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
