im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize