of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize