SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
