I think i peed on brittanys purse
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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