my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
