when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
