The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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