So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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