I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
