just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
